HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS > Differences between SEX and LOVE

SEX or LOVE ? Definitions.




SEX or LOVE ? Definitions.

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Sex is bio-mechanical and instinctive, we all know how to do it.
Love making is slow, sensual, not goal oriented which allows us to experience the metaphysical being of oneness, this type of love making is truly an art in itself.

For a man becoming a great love–maker is about having the proper attitude and knowing how to use your erection as an instrument of romantic expression.

To become a great lover, you must first understand the difference between ordinary sex and making love.

Sex vs. Making Love

What’s your motivation?

Do you want to have a physical experience with no emotional connection or do you want to be intimate and express passionate LOVE to reach new depths with your lover ?

Sex can be a physical thrill for a night or a few encounters, but lovemaking can be an ecstatic adventure of a lifetime and most women can feel the difference.

Sex is a simple physical act, so simple that even animals do it. But lovemaking is a complex expression of LOVE. It’s a desire to communicate the love you have for the other person non-verbally.

It gives you a chance to express all the good feelings and thoughts you have about your lover. To better explain the difference, lets put them into two categories:

    Heights of Sex
    Depths of Making Love

The heights of sex, generally focuses on stimulation and nervous system response. This type of sex is commonly expressed by only a physical experience and is measured by the intensity and quantity of stimulation.

This depths of sex encourages both partners to make use of their minds, bodies, and souls to access each other’s heart.

This type of love–making allows each partner to explore any hidden issues and inhibitions that may arise during a truly intimate experience. Lovemaking allows us to exceed the limits of our physical body, and merge with one another.

Lovemaking is about your lover’s mind, body and soul, the whole person, not just her body.

It’s very easy and ordinary to just have sex, but to know how to connect with a woman on a deeper level, and win over heart, mind and soul takes a little bit of commitment.

Your feelings and thoughts of her will be different everyday, and using those feelings to determine what you do during lovemaking will have an added benefit.

Allow your intuition to guide your gestures and movements, you will find yourself being more creative. You will never have to worry about repeating yourself or thinking about what to do next.

Sex without love is not lovemaking. The best part about lovemaking is that it becomes effortless, because you are not thinking about what Olympic – style performance you should put on.

You become your authentic self at that moment.

Great love-makers spend a lifetime exploring and learning the female sexual anatomy (and all sensitive parts, not only her sexual organ).

Great love-makers have an instinctive knowledge about the inner workings of their body as well as a woman’s sensuality. They learn how to synchronize with their lovers’ movements.

The best part about lovemaking with the right woman is that as your love grows, so does your passion. Just like fine wine, it tastes better when it’s aged. Over time, you learn about each other’s favorite hotspots as months and years pass.

I am not at all saying that having sex is bad, because it’s not. It just depends on what you want from the experience. Be true to your lover, but most importantly be true to yourself.


Author's page :

It is often said that “making love” is just a euphemism for “having sex.”
To be sure, these terms are frequently used interchangeably. Unfortunately, this common use (or misuse) can mask the important distinction between these two activities. Indeed, many people who have “good sex” mistake it for love only to find out that their apparent lover was not the person with whom they cared to spend their life.

This is not to proclaim the moral, or prudential, superiority of making love. Indeed some would prefer to just have sex. “Sex alleviates tension,” said Woody Allen, “Love causes it.” Still, it is important that one gets what one bargains for.

Of course, making love (as distinct from being in love) necessarily involves having sex.  But having sex, even great sex, is not necessarily making love—just as a nice cool beer is not a glass of wine. Truly, some may prefer the taste of the one to the other, and a beer may be the drink of choice on a given occasion .

So are you making love or just having sex? Are you getting what you really want? And if not, how can you get it?

The first of these three questions can be answered only if one knows the difference between having sex versus making love. But this, in turn, requires pinning down the meanings of each.

According to philosopher Alan Goldman, sexual desire is desire for contact with another person's body and for the pleasure which such contact produces; sexual activity is activity which tends to fulfill such desire of the agent.

Goldman claims that sexual activity is not necessarily a means to any further end. For example, procreation is not the essential purpose of having sex; so you are not doing anything wrong (that is, misusing your body) if you are having sex without trying to get pregnant. Indeed, according to Goldman, there is no essential purpose to sex beyond fulfilling your desire for contact with another person’s body.

I think we can take Goldman’s account of sexual activity as a working definition for developing and contrasting the idea of love-making. Inasmuch as sex is a desire for physical contact with someone else’s body, it is a mechanical activity. Rubbing, touching, caressing, kissing, sucking, biting, and, of course, intercourse, as fulfillments of a desire for physical contact, are all sexual activities in this sense. Here, a key word is “mechanical” because these activities are essentially ways of mechanically stimulating or arousing oneself. Per se, they are self-regarding. They seek self-gratification—fulfillment of a purely self-interested desire. As philosopher Immanuel Kant stated, “Sexual love makes of the loved person an Object of appetite; as soon as that appetite has been stilled, the person is cast aside as one casts away a lemon which has been sucked dry.”

Such reciprocal sexual activity is, for Kant, possible only in the context of monogamous marriage where each sex partner gives the other a contractual right to the other’s body.

So what else besides mutuality is involved in love-making?

As distinct from mere sex, love-making dissolves the chasm between “you” and “me.”  The resolution, however, is not “us” because “we” can still be divided. Instead, in love-making there is the mutual consciousness of unbounded unity without partition. “Love,” says psychologist Eric Fromm, is “in the experience of solidarity with our fellow creatures.” It is, explains Aristotle, “composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." In making love, your loins are mine, and mine yours.  The titillations of mine are yours also, and conversely. My past, present, and future; my hopes, dreams, and expectation; and yours, coalesce as one--not two--persons. There is resignation of separateness to inclusion of the other.  It is an ecstatic resonance that defies any breach in Oneness.

There is also powerful symbolism in love-making as depicted. Foreplay gradually builds to climax as in the unfolding of a life of two living as one.  As such, making love is inspirational, for it signifies and embodies two mutually living as one.

Transcend the self-interested desire for sexual satisfaction so that your sexual partner’s self becomes yours, and conversely, making the goal of other-regarding sex moot.

So, do you have to be in love in order to make love?  To get a handle on an answer to this question you might consider what I have had to say in my blog on How good are you at making love?  In any event, my considered judgment is that it can help to be in love.  But this doesn’t mean that one must be in love.  For I suspect that many people make love well before (if ever) they are actually in love.

Given its powerful symbolism, building a loving sexual relationship, as here described, may even pave the way to a more loving relationship beyond the bedroom. Try it out. The taste of wine is what you may crave. But sometimes one may also want a tall, cold one. So it doesn’t mean you can’t, when the mood is right, just have sex.


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Love vs. sex

Love and sex are NOT the same thing. Love is an emotion or a feeling. There is no one definition of love because the word "love" can mean many different things to many different people. Sex, on the other hand, is a biological event. Even though there are different kinds of sex, most sexual acts have certain things in common. Sex may or may not include penetration.

Differences Between Love and Sex


    Love is a feeling (emotional).
    There is no exact "right" definition of love for everybody.
    Love involves feelings of romance and/or attraction.


    Sex is an event or act (physical).
    There are different kinds of sex but all kinds of sex have some things in common.
    Can happen between a male and a female, between two females, between two males, or by one's self (masturbation).

Ways to express love without sex

There are countless nonsexual ways to show someone you love them. You can show a person you care for them by spending time with them. Go to the movies. Or just hang out and talk. If you are with someone you really like, then anything can be fun.

There are also ways to feel physically close without having sex. These include everything from kissing and hugging to touching and petting each other. Just remember that if you're not careful these activities can lead to sex. Plan beforehand just how far you want to go, and stick to your limits. It can be difficult to say "No" and mean it when things get hot and heavy.


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