HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS > MEN and WOMEN are COMPLEMENTARY , not OPPOSED
Differences between men and women
Author's page : Differences between Women & Men
Gender & the Brain : Differences between Women & Men
A study completed recently in December 2013 on nearly 1,000 brain scans has surprisingly confirmed what many of us thought…that there are major differences between the male & female brain. Women’s and men’s brains are indeed wired in fundamentally different ways.
The research showed that on average, female brains are highly connected across the left and right hemispheres, and connections in male brains are typically stronger between the front and back regions.
Men’s brains tend to perform tasks predominantly on the left-side, which is the logical/rational side of the brain.
Women, on the other hand, use both sides of their brains because a woman’s brain has a larger Corpus Callosum, which means women can transfer data between the right and left hemispheres faster than men.
Here is a list of the basic differences between women & men based on research studies of the brain done up to now.
This might be a handy list to show to your other half to avoid future misunderstandings !
Brain Size & Brain Connections: Women’s brains are 8% smaller than men’s, but have more interconnections. Women perform better at “bigger picture” & situational thinking while men do better on more specific spatial thinking (problem solving, and pattern prediction involving objects and their spatial relationships).
Multi-tasking: Men tend to be better at learning and performing a single task, like cycling or navigating, and women are better at juggling different tasks at once.
Social Context: Women are better at social thinking & interactions than men, while men are more abstract and task-orientated. This is why women are normally better at communication while men more often prefer relying on themselves to get things done.
Emotions: Women typically have a larger limbic system than men, which makes them more in touch and expressive with their emotions. Women are usually more empathic and comprehensive in thinking, while men focus on exact issues and disregard impertinent information. Men have a difficult time understanding emotions not explicitly verbalized but can think more logically, while women have a more wholesome view of thinking & understanding but their emotions can sometimes influence decisions.
Math Skills: A brain area called the “Inferior-Parietal Lobule (IPL)” is normally larger in men than women. This area is thought to control mathematical processes, which explains why men typically can perform mathematical tasks better than women.
Pain: Women tend to perceive pain more intensely than men. The Amygdala is the brain area activated when pain is felt. The right Amygdala is activated for men and the left Amygdala is activated for women. The right Amygdala has more connections with external functions while the left Amygdala has more connections with internal functions.
Coordination & Movement: Men are generally better with coordination, controlling their movements, and have faster reaction times.
Language: Women are more attuned to words and sounds and are normally better at learning languages. This is also why men tend to have a harder time expressing emotions verbally.
Memory: Women generally have better memory than men. They have greater activity in the brain’s hippocampus, which is part of the brain that helps store memories. Studies have shown women are generally better at recalling words, names, faces, pictures, objects, and everyday events.
Sense of Direction: Men has shown to have better visual-spatial & geographic memory and thinking, meaning they tend to have a better sense of direction and remembering where locations and areas are.
Risks & Rewards: Men has a brain wired for risk-taking more than women. Male brains get a bigger burst of endorphins, sensation of pleasure, when faced with a risky or challenging situation. And the bigger the reward is, the more likely a man will take a risk.
Senses & Sex: Men focus more on their visual sense, among other senses of perception; while women tend to use multiple senses. In terms of sexual activity, men are prevalently turned on by what they see, whereas women are turned on by multiple sources: ambience, touch, scent, as well as visual perception.
Photos for illustration purpose only
Author's page : 5 BIG Things To Remember About The Differences Between Men and Women
It’s about more than just toilet seat preferences.
Humankind has spent an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out the differences between the genders.
After all these centuries, men still find women mysterious and women still marvel at how closed off emotionally men can be. Haven’t we learned ANYTHING over the years? Is there really no genetic or emotional blueprint we can use to explain why men and women act SO differently in a relationship?
Although no easy roadmap to the genders exists, there is some information we can glean when we look at the unique biological, sociological, and evolutionary qualities of men and women.
In our latest Expert video, Senior VP of YourTango Experts Melanie Gorman asked a group of our relationship Experts — T-Ann Pierce, Clara Wisner, Kathryn Foster, and Helen Fisher — for their opinions on the major things we need to consider when we look at the physical and emotional divide between the genders.
You can see their full discussion in the above video, but here are FIVE things they agreed that we must all remember when we talk about men and women.
1. Men and women evolved differently.
This is just a biological fact. For eons, men’s brains were fashioned to fit their jobs — hunting and protecting their pack from enemies. To accomplish those tasks, they had to learn to detach, to suspend their empathy. Meanwhile, women’s brains developed much more relational roles. Women gave birth, they worked in communal environments.
The way men and women’s brains evolved over the centuries definitely plays a role in how they relate today. That’s why women often want more empathic dialogue from their men, and men feel criticized because they don’t have the same emotional capacity. It’s just how they’re wired.
2. Those evolutionary differences don’t make things easy.
Another issue to consider is something Expert Clara Wisner calls “evolutionary mismatch.” That refers to the fact that men and women’s bodies and brains have evolved for vastly different environments than they’re living in today. Most men don’t hunt for a living anymore and not every woman now needs to procreate or hold a relational role.
This can cause anxiety and confusion for men and women, but openly talking about those feelings of mismatch can help bring more peace and harmony into a relationship.
3. Men and women don’t always agree on sex and romance.
Because men developed without the same capacity for empathetic dialogue as women, the two genders often have very different opinions when it comes to assigning significance to sex and relationships. For example, men are FOUR TIMES more likely than women to believe that sex and emotional intimacy are the same thing.
That being said, there have also been several modern studies that actually say that men fall in love faster than women do. So men and women need to realize that, when they talk about romance, they might have a completely different definition than their partner — which is why communication is SO important.
4. Gender isn’t everything.
While, yes, there are big differences between men and women — mentally and biologically — it’s important to recognize that some things are bigger than gender.
We are more than just men and women. We are also individuals. If you’re trying to study the evolutionary variances between genders, you also have to take bioindividuality into account. Because there are differences between ALL human beings, not just men and women.
5. The relationship between men and women evolves over the years.
This is a particularly important thing for long-term couples to understand. If a couple gets married in their 20s and quickly figures out their differences, they need to realize that their relationship will continue to change and evolve with every major life milestone they encounter.
Careers, having children, dealing with retirement or disability — all of those issues can completely change the relationship between a couple on so many levels. They need to realize that part of the evolution of their romance will involve them continuing to reveal themselves to each other, over and over again, as they grow and change throughout time.
Just remember — women and men have had a symbiotic relationship since the beginning of humankind.
Yes, they can annoy each other and, yes, they will not always understand each other, but the more we talk about and acknowledge the differences between the genders, the easier it will be to eventually find common ground.
Author's page : Understanding The Difference Between Men And Women
Understanding The Difference Between Men And Women
By: Michael G. Conner, Psy.D, Clinical & Medical Psychologist
[This paper is collection of research conclusions and observations which I have witnessed over the past 5 year that I have attempted to put into a written form that might be helpful, but more importantly stimulate discussions. The real purposes is to increase the awareness between men and women, and to help them set aside issues that are not personal but are merely manifestations of nature. To my way of thinking, it is important to honor and rejoice in both our nature and our individuality.]
For centuries, the differences between men and women were socially defined and distorted through a lens of sexism in which men assumed superiority over women and maintained it through domination.
As the goal of equality between men and women now grows closer we are also losing our awareness of important differences.
In some circles of society, politically correct thinking is obliterating important discussion as well as our awareness of the similarities and differences between men and women. The vision of equality between the sexes has narrowed the possibilities for discovery of what truly exists within a man and within a woman. The world is less interesting when everything is same.
It is my position that men and women are equal but different. When I say equal, I mean that men and women have a right to equal opportunity and protection under the law. The fact that people in this country are assured these rights does not negate my observation that men and women are at least as different psychologically as they are physically.
None of us would argue the fact that men and women are physically different. The physical differences are rather obvious and most of these can be seen and easily measured. Weight, shape, size and anatomy are not political opinions but rather tangible and easily measured. The physical differences between men and women provide functional advantages and have survival value. Men usually have greater upper body strength, build muscle easily, have thicker skin, bruise less easily and have a lower threshold of awareness of injuries to their extremities. Men are essentially built for physical confrontation and the use of force. Their joints are well suited for throwing objects. A man’s skull is almost always thicker and stronger than a women’s. The stereotype that men are more "thick-headed" than women is not far fetched. A man’s "thick headedness", and other anatomical differences have been associated with a uniquely male attraction to high speed activities and reckless behavior that usually involve collisions with other males or automobiles. Men invented the game "chicken", not women. Men, and a number of other male species of animal seem to charge and crash into each other a great deal in their spare time.
Women on the other hand have four times as many brain cells (neurons) connecting the right and left side of their brain. This latter finding provides physical evidence that supports the observation that men rely easily and more heavily on their left brain to solve one problem one step at a time. Women have more efficient access to both sides of their brain and therefore greater use of their right brain. Women can focus on more than one problem at one time and frequently prefer to solve problems through multiple activities at a time. Nearly every parent has observed how young girls find the conversations of young boys "boring". Young boys express confusion and would rather play sports than participate actively in a conversation between 5 girls who are discussing as many as three subjects at once!
The psychological differences between man and women are less obvious. They can be difficult to describe. Yet these differences can profoundly influence how we form and maintain relationships that can range from work and friendships to marriage and parenting.
Recognizing, understanding, discussing as well as acting skillfully in light of the differences between men and women can be difficult. Our failure to recognize and appreciate these differences can become a life long source of disappointment, frustration, tension and eventually our downfall in a relationship. Not only can these differences destroy a promising relationship, but most people will grudgingly accept or learn to live with the consequences. Eventually they find some compromise or way to cope. Few people ever work past these difficulties. People tend to accept what they don’t understand when they feel powerless to change it.
Relationships between men and women are not impossible or necessarily difficult. Problems simply arise when we expect or assume the opposite sex should think, feel or act the way we do. It’s not that men and women live in completely different realities. Rather, our lack of knowledge and mutual experience gives rise to our difficulties.
Despite great strides in this country toward equality, modern society hasn’t made relationships between men and women any easier. Today’s society has taught us and has imposed on us the expectation that men and women should live together continuously, in communion, and in harmony. These expectations are not only unrealistic but ultimately they leave people feeling unloved, inadequate, cynical, apathetic or ashamed.
The challenge facing men and women is to become aware of their identities, to accept their differences, and to live their lives fully and as skillfully as possible. To do this we must first understand in what ways we are different. We must avoid trying to change others to suit our needs. The following illustrates some important differences between men and women. These differences are not absolute. They describe how men and women are in most situations most of the time.
Men and women approach problems with similar goals but with different considerations. While men and women can solve problems equally well, their approach and their process are often quit different. For most women, sharing and discussing a problem presents an opportunity to explore, deepen or strengthen the relationship with the person they are talking with. Woman are usually more concerned about how problems are solved than merely solving the problem itself. For women, solving a problem can profoundly impact whether they feel closer and less alone or whether they feel distant and less connected. The process of solving a problem can strengthen or weaken a relationship. Most men are less concerned and do not feel the same as women when solving a problem.
Men approach problems in a very different manner than women. For most men, solving a problem presents an opportunity to demonstrate their competence, their strength of resolve, and their commitment to a relationship. How the problem is solved is not nearly as important as solving it effectively and in the best possible manner. Men have a tendency to dominate and to assume authority in a problem solving process. They set aside their feelings provided the dominance hierarchy was agreed upon in advance and respected. They are often distracted and do not attend well to the quality of the relationship while solving problems.
Some of the more important differences can be illustrated by observing groups of young teenage boys and groups of young teenage girls when they attempt to find their way out of a maze. A group of boys generally establish a hierarchy or chain of command with a leader who emerges on his own or through demonstrations of ability and power. Boys explore the maze using scouts while remaining in distant proximity to each other. Groups of girls tend to explore the maze together as a group without establishing a clear or dominant leader. Relationships tends to be co-equal. Girls tend to elicit discussion and employ "collective intelligence" to the task of discovering a way out. Girls tend to work their way through the maze as a group. Boys tend to search and explore using structured links and a chain of command.
While men and women can reach similar conclusions and make similar decisions, the process they use can be quit different and in some cases can lead to entirely different outcomes. In general, men and women consider and process information differently.
Women tend to be intuitive global thinkers. They consider multiple sources of information within a process that can be described as simultaneous, global in perspective and will view elements in the task in terms of their interconnectedness. Women come to understand and consider problems all at once. They take a broad or "collective" perspective, and they view elements in a task as interconnected and interdependent. Women are prone to become overwhelmed with complexities that "exist", or may exist, and may have difficulty separating their personal experience from problems.
Men tend to focus on one problem at a time or a limited number of problems at a time. They have an enhanced ability to separate themselves from problems and minimize the complexity that may exist. Men come to understand and consider problems one piece at a time. They take a linear or sequential perspective, and view elements in a task as less interconnected and more independent. Men are prone to minimize and fail to appreciate subtleties that can be crucial to successful solutions. A male may work through a problem repeatedly, talking about the same thing over and over, rather than trying to address the the problem all at once.
While there are differences in the ways that men and women think, it must be emphasized that they can and do solve problems in a similar manner. There are no absolutes, only tendencies.
Women have an enhanced ability to recall memories that have strong emotional components. They can also recall events or experiences that have similar emotions in common. Women are very adept at recalling information, events or experiences in which there is a common emotional theme. Men tend to recall events using strategies that rely on reconstructing the experience in terms of elements, tasks or activities that took place. Profound experiences that are associated with competition or physical activities are more easily recalled. There appears to be a structural and chemical basis for observed memory differences. For instance, the hippocampus, the area in the brain primarily responsible for memory, reacts differently to testosterone in men and it reacts differently to changing levels of estrogen and progesterone in women. Women tend to remember or be reminded of different "emotional memories" and content to some extent as part of their menstrual cycle.
There is evidence to suggest that a great deal of the sensitivity that exists within men and women has a physiological basis. It has been observed that is many cases, women have an enhanced physical alarm response to danger or threat. Their autonomic and sympathetic systems have a lower threshold of arousal and greater reactivity than men. In both men and women, higher levels of testosterone directly affect the aggressive response and behavior centers of the brain. Increasing estrogen and progesterone in men has a "feminizing" effect. Sexually aggressive males become less focused on sexual aggressive behavior and content when they are given female hormones. On the other hand, changing estrogen and progesterone levels in women during menstrual cycles can produce a "flood" of memories as well as strong emotions. Increasing or high levels of testosterone can produce an emotional insensitivity, empathic block and increased indifference to the distress others.
At the heart of sensitivity is our capacity to form, appreciate and maintain relationships that are rewarding. Even here there are important differences. For men, what demonstrates a solid relationship is quite different from that of most women. Men feel closer and validated through shared activities. Such activities include sports, competition, outdoor activities or sexual activities that are decidedly active and physical. While both men and women can appreciate and engage in these activities they often have preferential differences. Women, on the other hand, feel closer and validated through communication, dialogue and intimate sharing of experience, emotional content and personal perspectives. Many men tend to find such sharing and involvement uncomfortable, if not, overwhelming.
The Task Of Relationship Facing Men and Women
The task that faces men and women is to learn to accept their differences, avoid taking their differences as personal attempts to frustrate each other, and to compromise whenever possible. The idea that one gender can think and feel like the other if they truly loved each is rather absurd. Sure, a man or women could act in consideration of the other’s needs, but this would not necessarily be rewarding and honest. Holding the benefit of another above our own is rewarding. But from time to time, and more often for most of us, it is important to be our self and to be accepted, and not to be the source of distress and disappointment in the lives of people we love.
The Role Of Counseling and Therapy
Counseling and therapy can help a couple understand and appreciate each other, and even benefit from their differences. Understanding these differences intellectually is not enough. A counselor or therapist can help point out these differences, as they surface, and guide a couple to a greater level of relationship. Understanding that differences are not intentional and that misunderstandings are merely the result of expectations that are not realistic can make a huge difference in a relationship. The differences that can be sensed between a man and women can deepen their relationship. More importantly, when men seek to understand and appreciate that which is feminine, they come to a deeper understanding of their self. And when a women seeks to understand that which is masculine in men, they come to appreciate and understand more about their own masculinity.
Author's page : The Main Difference Between Men and Women When It Comes to Relationships
The Main Difference Between Men and Women When It Comes to Relationships
There are many differences between men and women, both in the way we’re designed physically and the way we process things emotionally. And I’m sure you’ve noticed that the way we view relationships is also very different. The main problem in a lot of relationships is women don’t know what men want.
While the differences may seem vast, they’re pretty simple when you break it down. Once you can understand them, you’ll have a much easier time understanding your guy and making your relationship even more amazing.
I want to preface this by saying that I know there are exceptions but for the sake of clarification, I’m going to be speaking about the way men and women are in general.
In general, the appeal of a relationship for a women is the relationship. Women naturally gravitate towards the idea of marriage and see it as highly appealing. An ideal relationship for a woman is one where she feels understood and connected to her significant other. An ideal man is one who truly understands her.
The ideal relationship for a man is one where he gets to feel like the man. Men don’t have the same need for understanding as women do. Rather, men like to feel acknowledged, respected, and appreciated. Men typically enjoy the role of being givers, so for a man, the ideal woman is one who can happily receive. There is nothing sexier or more appealing to him than a happy woman who appreciates everything he has to offer.
While men love to give, they don’t always know what is you need and most relationship problems arise from basic communication malfunctions where a woman goes about trying to tell a man what she needs in the wrong way.
For instance, if your boyfriend or husband is hardly ever home, rather than saying: “Why aren’t you ever home?” say “I really love it when you’re here.” If your partner isn’t meeting your needs, it is always a much better strategy to tell him what you want rather than constantly hammering in what it is you don’t want and pointing out the ways in which he’s failing to meet your needs.
Remember, he wants to make you happy and the more appreciated he feels, the more he will go out of his way to give you what you want.
It is also worth noting that men respond to specific compliments much more than abstract ones. For instance, saying something like: “Thank you for doing the dishes, that was so thoughtful of you” packs more punch than something general like “You’re so thoughtful.” This can be an area of confusion since women are thrilled with general compliments (you’re so smart/pretty/nice/funny/etc.)
While the principles I’ve outlined may seem fairly straightforward and universally understood, they often get completely ignored. The biggest mistake most women make in relationships is assuming men think just like they do.
And the key to a successful relationship is communicating your needs in a way that the other person can hear it. If you attack or blame, your guy will completely shut down and tune you out. If you come from a place of compassion and appreciation, he will tune in to exactly what you’re saying and will try to do whatever he can to make you happy.
It is only when we embrace our differences and see the other side more clearly that healthy communication can flourish. Try it out for yourselves and you’ll see what I mean !
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