HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS > The Power of Association : Why It Matters Who You Hang Out With

Power of Association



Author's page :
The Power of Association
By John Cho
November 2, 2007

I believe that you are who you associate with. The power of association is extremely powerful in the way it dictates who you are.
If you want to change yourself or you lifestyle, then it may be time to change the people you associate with.

" Birds of a Feather Do Flock Together "

Have you ever noticed that successful people hang around other successful people? Birds of feather really do flock together. If you’re a beer drinking, foul mouth talking wage slave, then chances are, all your friends are beer drinking, foul mouth talking wage salves as well. This is not by accident. You attract to you what you are.

One of the biggest barriers to success is quite often the people you hang around with. They laugh at your crazy dreams and say you’re wasting time trying to make money online. Come and have a beer instead. More often than not, you’ll let your friends keep you down. If you want to break out of the rat race, then you need to stop spending so much time with your current buddies and start associating with people who have the same dreams and goals as you.

Networking for Fun and Profit

One of the reasons I attend a bunch of trade shows every year is not just to keep up with the industry. These shows provide a great venue to network with like minded and successful people. I also attend many local networking events. Remember, a big part of who you are is determined by the people you hang with. No man is an island. The journey to success is a team effort.

To keep building my success, I make sure I associate with other successful people. Sometimes, that means not hanging around with old friends as much, or letting them go completely. It really depends on your goals. If you aspired to more than what your friends want to achieve, then you’re going to have to find others at your level or above and start associating with them.
Success breeds success. This is why the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.
If you want to become rich, then you need to hang out with the rich.



Author's page :
The Power of Association
by Robert Kiyosaki
January 30, 2013

If you want to be rich (or happy), choose your friends carefully

When Kim and I were at the beginning of our financial journey, we knew that our friends who didn't have money or who weren't interested in money couldn't help us on that journey.
People who we had spent much time with in the past started to spend less time with us. Some of them are still our friends today, but not in the same way they were before we were rich. Some of them were jealous of our success and that caused friction.
Those friendships naturally faded.

I have several friends who have made billions of dollars in their lifetime. Three of them have told me the same thing : their friends who have made no money have never come to them to ask them how they did it. But they do come to them to ask for one of two things, or both: a loan or a job. I've found this to be true in my life as well.

As the old saying goes, "Birds of a feather flock together." If you want to be rich, it's important to be friends with the right people. Many people will find that, as they get richer, the friendships that they had before also change. If you're rich, it's harder to be friends with people who are adverse to money, business and investing. It's simply a matter of different focuses in life.

While you can't control your friends, you can control who you are friend with. And if you want to be rich, it's important to choose your friends carefully. The following are a few short tips on how to do so.

Choose friends based on what you can learn

Personally, I don't choose my friends by their financial statements. I have friends who have taken a vow of poverty as well as friends who earn millions every year. At the end of the day, the way I choose my friends is by what I can learn from them.

There are certain people I've become friends with because they had money. I wasn't after their money. However, I was after their knowledge. My friends who have money like to talk about money. They don't brag about it, but they do like to discuss the subject of money : how to make it and how to keep it. I learn a lot from these friends.

Other friends, like my sister who is a Buddhist monk, have other things to teach me. I learn about spirituality and other things from them. But I never talk with them about money because they have nothing to teach me, and often, they are not teachable about money. Nevertheless, they are my friends because they have knowledge, and that is valuable.

If you want to be rich, be friends with people who have something to teach you.

Don't be friends with Chicken Littles

I know people who will always try to talk me out of a deal. Many years ago, a man I know told me he was excited because he found a 6 percent certificate of deposit. I told him I earn 16 percent from the state government. The next day he sent me an article about why my investment was dangerous. I have received 16 percent for many years now. He still earns 6 percent. His fear holds him back, and if I listened to him, his fear would hold me back too.

Don't listen to poor or frightened people. Being rich or happy is as much about mindset as it is about knowledge. Poor and frightened people have a poor mindset and are always complaining about how the sky is falling. They are Chicken Littles who will always tell you what is wrong with your business or investment idea. They are motivation killers.

If you want to be rich, be friends with people who have the same mindset as you, or who at least won't try to change your mindset to be more like theirs. Life is too short to spend time with people who don't help you move forward. Rely on insider information.
If you want to be rich, it's also important to be friends with people who can give you insider information. After all, whether we like to admit it or not, all trading is "insider trading." Now, there are forms of insider trading that are illegal. Obviously you don't want to break the law, but there are also forms of insider trading that are legal.

The reason you want to have rich friends is because that is where money is made—on information. You want to hear about the next big boom, get in, and get out before the next bust. The sooner you know good information, the better. You will not hear about good information from poor friends.

If you want to be rich, do the financially-intelligent thing and be friends with people who are rich and who have good information to share.


                 We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.

Author's page :
How to Put the Power of Association to Work for You

Your friends that you hang out with, along with the other people that you spend time with have a tremendous impact on you and your life.  The opportunities that are available to you, the choices that you make, even the amount of money in your bank account are all greatly affected by the people around you.  It’s been said that you are the average of the 5 people that you spend the most time with.  Let’s look at how you can put the power of association to work for you.
Choosing who you associate with is a key factor in your success in life.

We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.

Association matters

Who you associate with is too important to be left to chance.  In order to really put the power of association to work for you, you must recognize that you are in control of, and solely responsible for, choosing who you spend time with.  Most people never put the power of association to work for themselves, because their choice of who they associate with is primarily driven by convenience and circumstance.

Affects your thinking

The people that we spend time with have a great impact on our thinking.  If the people around us are positive, we tend to be more positive.  The inverse holds true as well.  Ever notice how if you’re not really careful that when you’re around negative people, you tend to be more negative as well?  The thinking of those around us affects our own thinking.

Since our thinking affects our actions, and our actions in turn affect our results, guarding our thinking takes on a special importance.  Becoming consciously aware of the thinking of those you’re spending time with is the first step toward surrounding yourself with people whose thinking will have a positive impact on your own.

Affects your habits

The habits of the people that we choose to spend the most time with tend to rub off on us.  If you choose to spend time with people who are very goal focused and write their goals down on paper, then chances are if you’re not writing your goals down, you soon will be. 
If those you spend time with tip generously, chances are you do too. 
If those around us highly value investing in themselves and are focused on growth personally and in their business, then we tend to do the same.

Just like each of the planets has a gravitational pull on their surroundings, our friends have a gravitational pull on us.  This isn’t to say that we will become exactly like our friends in every detail, or that all of our friends have the exact same habits. 
However, the dominant habits of those that we spend time with will tend to rub off on us over time.

The key to really putting the power of association to work is to ensure that the average of the 5 people we’re spending the most time with is pulling us up instead off pulling us down.  When you’re consciously aware of the impact that those around you have on your life, you gain the ability to put the power of association to work for you.  This is one of the key differentiators that distinguishes highly successful people from the masses.


Author's page :
The power of association
7th January 2013

"Food for thought" from Colin Powell.

The Power of Association is too real : “The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity. An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people. As you grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are. Friends that don’t help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don’t increase you will eventually decrease you.

Consider this :
- Never receive counsel from unproductive people.
- Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how.
- Not everyone has a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person.
- Don’t follow anyone who is not going anywhere. With some people you spend an evening, with others you invest it.
- Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life.
- Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl, but if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.

“A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.”
The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate – for the good and the bad.

Note: Be not mistaken. This is applicable to family as well as friends”.

Colin Powell




Author's page :
The power of association
May 18, 2016
by Colin Nyathi

Proverbs 13 v 20,
“He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.” “Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed.”

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

“Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits.’”

No human being can progress in life independently. God designed us to be inter-dependent or inter-linked.
The human network is the channel God uses to promote people. In running with a dream or vision, upholding strong and sound relationships is vital.

Here is a powerful statement: “You are the same today that you are going to be in five years from now except for two things, the people with whom you associate and the books you read.”

When you associate with people, it is not just a matter of being found together, but a principle of the contagious sharing of life. We share our convictions, belief systems and aspirations. Not every relationship can be inspirational, so we should be selective, especially when it comes to matters of vision and destiny.
Relationships will either build us or break us. The choice is ours.

Cut off relationships that will not take you to your destiny. It is recorded in the Bible that “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.” Solomon says, if you develop meaningful relationships with wise people, you will eventually become wise. So find wise people and walk with them. “Wisdom calls aloud outside, she raises her voice in the open squares.” “She cries out in the chief concourses. At the openings of the gates in the city, she speaks her words.”

In other words, there are people out there on the streets, who have made grave mistakes in life, but if you are wise, you can learn from their mistakes and avoid the same in your life.

One of the most difficult tasks for a person of destiny or a visionary is one of finding reliable relationships and people one can trust.

God is faithful. If you trust Him to ordain your relationships, He will come through and make divine connections for you.

Some negative associations that we ought to stay away from :

- Visionless people.

“For where there is no vision, people cast off restraint (perish)…” Visionless people die ruthlessly. They have no direction in life, thus, no focus and expectations. They will waste your time. (Dump them).

- Easily-discouraged people.

They do not move by conviction, they may transfer the grasshopper mentality to you. They see obstacles in everything. “…and we were like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their sight.” The way you view yourself is the way the enemy will view you.

- Gossipers.

Gossip betrays confidence, so avoid a man who talks too much. “He who goes about as a tale bearer reveals secrets, therefore, do not associate with one who flatters with His lips.”
Disassociate yourself from gossipers.

People you need to integrate within your relationship circle

Winners associate with the following people :

- Those who can love you and appreciate you for who you are. “And Jonathan made David re-affirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself.”

Jonathan, son of Saul loved David. He loved him unconditionally. The Bible records that he loved David like he did himself. You should also remember that relationships can be developed.

It takes some friendship tests in order to come to the point of true love, and sincerity in a relationship. A true friend is one who has your interest at heart, one who can trust you and openly speak into your life without fear or favour to make you a better person. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

- Those who are going somewhere in life.

You cannot expect yourself to go somewhere in life, even if you have somewhere to go, if you are surrounded by people who are going nowhere. You need relationships that can challenge you, relationships that should always cause the giant within you to arise. They should propel you into an aggressive battle against mediocrity. Visionaries have a sense of direction and purpose. They know where they are going and are able to explain with clarity the dream of their life.

- Those who are positive in life.

Negative-minded people are dream killers. They are murderers of people’s expectations. If you want your life to count, and if you are pregnant with a desire to leave a mark in your generation, which cannot be erased, you need to ensure that you feed on positive issues and not negative ones. Ensure that you surround yourself with people who have a positive fighting spirit and they do not know the language of giving up or defeat.

“Do not be misled, bad company corrupts good character.” Quit the company of those with a grasshopper mentality, you will go nowhere with such people. The people you allow to embrace your life ultimately have the greatest impact in your life. Make sure it’s not those with a grasshopper mentality.

- Those who refuse to stop thinking.

Life is a series of challenges. Even if you are a tongue-speaking sanctified charismatic, you will also meet challenges in life. The fact that you have a vision does not mean you stop thinking. Have you ever met people who refuse to think? They become anointed to complain.

They complain about their job, wife, children, ministry, business, pastor, anything. These people are connected to defeat and they are worry warriors. God gave us the five senses to think. Don’t sit on those brains, use them to think.

- Those who can see a gift in a problem.

Every problem has a solution and every solution has a problem, you cannot have one without the other. You do not need to invite problems, there are always there. You will do yourself a favour to just develop an attitude that allows you to see beyond the problem, see the gift instead.

Remember, “God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” All things work out for your good. As a child of God, nothing just happens to you without God knowing anything about it. If it is a bad experience, God can turn it for your good by strengthening you and turning that situation around.

- Those who are highly expectant.

Have you ever come across individuals who have completely given up on life? Their major problem is failure to visualise a positive preferred future for their life. Their visualisation power has been defeated. They cannot see anything good beyond what they are.

What is it that makes a person a winner? What distinguishes those who succeed from those who fail ?

Answer : Expectancy. The power of visualisation. The art of seeing things invisible.

The power of association is key in one’s life.

Winners associate with the following :

- Those who can love you and appreciate you for who you are.

- Those who are going somewhere in life.

- Those who are positive in life.

- Those who refuse to stop thinking.

- Those who can see a gift in a problem.

- Those who are highly expectant.

Bishop Colin Nyathi is a senior pastor and founder of Harvest House International Churches.


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