HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS > Before making a baby ...
How to have a lovely baby within a loving family
How to have a lovely baby within a loving family
Firstly you must WANT to have a child and take good care of him/her.
Secondly you must be able to give as much LOVE as you can to your child, he will then give you back 10.000 times more.
A child is not a toy or an object to show to others as a luxury item. He is a sentiant human beeing, asking for a lot of love, attention, care, time, patience, devotion, energy and you must be willing to give him all your best for his optimum growth and "maturation".
It is often a strenous time as most of attentionned parents know and have experimented (like me).
My wife and I succeded with our future own child by having a nice (and single) lady in our neighborhood who got pregnant but was too busy with her job to take good care of her newborn boy and was desesperate to find a good and skilled nany.
By luck we could visit her everyday as we have a very good relationship and got along very well altogether.
Her new born was so joyful and cute, it was a real pleasure to visit them and play with him.
Little by little she taught us the basics (how to hold him, change diapers, prepare food, wash him...) and we also started to "understand" baby langage.
His cries were different when he wanted to eat, sleep, play, ... even when he pooped in his diapers.
We helped her during 4 years until my wife got pregnant and then we applied this knowledge with our own baby. Today our child is very happy, kind, helpful, polite, attentioned, well educated, .... thanks to this previous experience !!!
As future parents you should train yourself with others' babies to become successful parents and avoid energy loss or unnessecary stress.
Your best reward will come from your child himself : "You are the best parents ever !!"
What a gratification, years later !!!!!
So, before having a baby with your partner, you should live together for a few years, learning to know each other before doing the next big step : build a lovely family and keep it this way.
Too often people make a baby by accident or just to "make a baby" like everyone else. Usually, this baby later will suffer from this lack of love (or attention) from his parents, resulting in wrong behavior, irritability, conflicts with parents, ...
If you think sex is more important than love, up to you. You will realize later that sex is NOT SO important in fact, but a strong and loving relationship is if you want a loving family.
To succeed and have a lovely baby, all start before getting pregnant.
You must first learn the basics (as you must learn academics before your first driving lesson) :
- how to prepare healthy baby food (very important for the mood of the child as well as his precious health)
- how to wash him (how to hold him, shower him, change diapers, shampoo, ...) and play with him at the same time. Babies LOVE water, it is sooo funny and amazing for them !! You may use floating toys to keep him busy and joyful during this time.
Babies must not grow in a too sterilized environment, they need to build their natural defences against microbs and other bacterias for their own immune system to avoid a poor health some years later. We are built this way.
- entertain him (don't use TV or other screen because you are busy doing somewhere else), speak with him, show him the world around, ... but NEVER LEAVE HIM ALONE !!! At this age, accidents are frequents if left unattended.
Learn from other successful parents is the best parenting school you may find.
I am a successful and happy father by learning parenting skills with a joung mother living close to my home.
I could never success with my child if I haven't this chance and opportunity before my child was born.
As the saying says "One gram of experience is heavier than 100 kilos of theory"
Author's page : http://healthhappinessmag.com/happy-children-secret/
The Secret of Happy Children
by Anna Selner
Feb 27, 2011
Every child is the best for his/her parents, who would particularly like them to grow up happy and fulfilled – a goal not always easy to achieve despite all good intentions. So can you give a taste of happiness to your children and give them the joy of living? Yes, say experts. Here are some tips to try to get there!
One of the finest, if not the finest, characteristics of a child is his immense “potential for happiness”. In fact, his discovery of the world will lead him to marvel at everything and anything: an insect on a leaf, a piece of chocolate, clothing, colorful objects or even an unexpected noise. This is a true fascination for parents!
Yet this natural ability of children to marvel must not let us forget another fact that they are often decisive in what happens next: the role of parents is important in the development and maintenance of natural happiness. The parent fast becomes the role model for the child. Studies show that a child who lives in a positive and stimulating atmosphere is much more likely to develop a capacity for happiness. On the contrary, if the role model is someone who complains all the time, how will the child believe that life can be beautiful and enjoyable?
The problem is that some adults seem doomed to misfortune, while others are full of optimism and joie de vivre. But according to experts, no one can really tell when a child will encounter a misfortune or challenge in his life. Thus, it helps to adopt good habits and values.
Learn to have fun
One of the first reflexes to adopt towards the child is to present life in its best light, without constantly exposing him to shimmering fairy tales. Tell him, for example, what you like, what are you passionate about. This could be reading, dancing, your work or whether you like his dad, his mom and his grandmother. The important thing is to excite interest in children. A child who is taught to have a zest for life will want to know more, want to start new things, try new things. The curiosity of children is almost insatiable and it is up to parents to satisfy that appetite.
Without spending a fortune every time, think of how a simple event or a special occasion will be remembered by the child. For example, when Grandma comes to visit, get out some candles, a nice tablecloth and make the visit special. Similarly for Halloween, dress up along with your child, and share the collected candy! From time to time, put on some music and dance with him. Teach him that there is something besides television, by organizing sessions of painting where he may develop his creative expression. Let your imagination run and you will see how the opportunities to celebrate with family are easier than you think.
Of course, for educating the child, it is sometimes necessary to scold him or even put in a punishment for wrongdoing. Conversely, don’t forget to congratulate him when the opportunity presents itself. If your child has just made a beautiful painting full of creativity, appreciate his talent instead of cribbing out his hands and hair dripping with paint. After all, it’s only going to take up 5 minutes in the bathroom to clean up the mess. Similarly, when he returns from the park breathless from the play and clothes covered in dirt, encourage him to play every day. It will help him sleep better and longer!
Telling it like it is
The most important habit to help our child to take the path of happiness is to say things as they are. Life should not be seen through candy pink glasses. Such an approach may even be dangerous because it would suggest to the child or that there will never be failures or disappointments in life. This would make them poorly prepared for the future. The important thing is to be realistic and not unnecessarily overprotect the child. But when necessary, one must express his sorrow with the child, without dramatizing or entering into all the details of a situation.
Although the loss of a loved one, illness of a relative or a blow situation are difficult to live and hide, the child may feel their impact more if he does not know what is happening. In such circumstances, the child may become a victim of anxiety. Presenting life at its best does not mean hiding from the child that there are sometimes more difficult moments, and grayer days. He gradually learns that not everything is always perfect. That will serve him when he is himself facing the inevitable obstacles of life at one time or another.
Some tips to help your child’s happiness
- Introduce him early to your life values of happiness – what makes you happy and how you maintain your happiness.
- If discipline is important, praising your child when necessary is also important. Positive reinforcement is essential.
- Turn small moments into a celebration or special event. Being a parent requires you to be involved in the life of the child, and foster an atmosphere where pleasure and happiness go together.
- Focus on happiness is important, but do not hide things from your child when times are not so favorable. Overprotection does not serve well in the long run.
One last word
Don't expect to have a loving child if you are in this situation with your wife
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